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Who is Gene Wolfe, other than a man whose name rhymes with the 1985 Michael J. Fox film, “Teen Wolf?”
Well, for starters, he’s a Korean War veteran. He has a huge bushy handlebar moustache. He helped engineer the machinery that forms Pringles potato chips. He also happens to write award-winning science fiction novels.
I wonder if he put all that on his cover letter when he first started submitting his manuscript to publishers. “I won the Nebula and World Fantasy Award and invented potato chips in tube form!”
Perhaps it was Wolfe’s diverse career background that allowed him to create his unusual and original science-fiction tetralogy, “The Book of the New Sun.” Or maybe he just has a crazy imagination. The series starts with a dark little novel called “The Shadow of the Torturer.” It’s an appropriate title, considering the main character, Severian, is raised and trained in the The Order of the Seekers for Truth and Penitence, AKA The Guild of Torturers.
Unfortunately, Severian doesn’t get much chance to torture anyone before he’s exiled to a remote village where he is doomed to hack off the heads of petty horse thieves with his badass sword, Terminus Est. He does however, have time to get busy with a trampy shop girl, aid in the theft of a precious, magical religious artifact, join a traveling theatre troupe whose participants are reminiscent of the “Princess Bride,” almost get murdered by a flower, and then hook up with another, not-quite-as-trampy female named Dorcas.
Yup, Dorcas. Possibly the weirdest name for a female character ever. I’ll forgive Wolfe this artistic decision, though, considering the rest of the series was really quite intriguing. It actually reminded me a little of Stephen King’s Dark Tower novels in the sense that it’s set in a version of Earth (or Urth as Severian calls it) far into the future, where we’ve reached the peak of technological advancement and have started the grim slide back towards ruin and darkness. Wolfe weaves together a complex world, complete with its own history and caste system. There are the courtly exultants, the political optimates as well as the soldiers, called armigers. And speaking of crazy words that make no sense unless you’ve read the novel, Wolfe also created a brand new language.
Following in the footsteps of Tolkien, Wolfe explains this “language” in one of five million appendixes. Here Wolfe claims that he actually didn’t write this book, but merely “translated” it from “A tongue that has not yet achieved existence,” and in the places where there was not a good modern day translation, has just kept the original words, like fuligin (super dark black), agathodaemon (afterlife?), and tokoloshe (??????).
Wolfe certainly isn’t the first mustachioed wordsmith to create a brand spanking new language to suit his literary needs. Tolkien did it in “Lord of the Rings,“ to give an authentic quality to his work. It’s often said that he intended for his trilogy to serve as a standard mythology for Britain, just as Grimm’s fairy tales were for Germany. This may explain why so many complain that Tolkien’s books read like history text books.
I admit, while reading “The Book of the New Sun” I could usually guess word meanings from context and description, I often found this use of invented language quite jarring. I’ve only ever had this experience once before, and that was in reading Anthony Burgess’ “A Clockwork Orange,” where he creates an entire vocabulary of slang for his characters to use. In that case, the slang seemed to emphasize the transience of the teenage mindset, and also helped to mask the intense violence of the novel. It was an integral element to the work that enhanced the overall tone and story. In Wolfe’s case, however, the “translated” language comes off as an unnecessary flourish. The material itself is so fresh and interesting, it didn’t need a fake “I got this book from future moon people!” story to sell it.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
All I Wanted Was To Make Fun Of Transformers
Last week, I heard from a friend about the upcoming film adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s famous novel, “Ender’s Game.” This should have been exciting news, the sort of that makes my scrawny little muppet arms flail with glee. Unfortunately, the comment came at the end of a conversation about a nightmare short film this friend was forced to direct. Whatever unhappy association he’d made between working with an idiotic, amateur actor/writer on this disaster project and the soon-to-be-produced classic sci-fi novel, it did not bode well for my enjoyment of the final film product. Turns out that one of the producers signed on for “Ender’s Game” is responsible for such Hollywood classics as “Transformers” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” And the director? Well, his last directorial feat was a little gem called “Wolverine.”
Now, I set out to do a blog post on why this was such a travesty. I planned to discuss how “Ender’s Game” possesses what I considered “serious themes.” It’s a story about genius children enlisted to participate in war games. Spoiler alert, at the end of the novel the title character, Ender, realizes that after winning the final “game,” he’s actually devastated a whole race and vows to aid the remaining foes in starting anew on a different planet. “Transformers” and “Wolverine” are campy action films with cheesy one liners, where the difference between good and evil is as obvious as the morals in a Berenstain Bear book. This book had substance and required filmmakers who would recognize that!
Oh, with what outrage I intended to slam these films! How my intellectual superiority would be displayed in the way I analyzed the grand philosophies of “Ender’s Game,” suggesting for such filmmakers to adapt it would be the equivalent of Michael Bay adapting the works of Plato into an action film. I’d follow up with some snarky jokes about what other book-to-film massacres might take place next. How about a version of “Fahrenheit 451” starring Taylor Lautner as the sexy book-burning fireman with Kes$ha composing the original score.
And then, since it was his vision that was spurring me on to such vehemence, I began to do a little research on Orson Scott Card. I always like to throw in a few tidbits to flesh out my posts and show how good I am at typing names into google. The usual basic factoids popped up, but a little further down the page, I saw a heading that read something like “I’ll never read Orson Scott Card again!” Curious. I scrounged deeper and found that Card has quite the controversial political history. One article discussed how he opposes gay marriage. Another mentioned his views on global warming, mostly how he believes that research disproving it is being suppressed. Not to mention his feelings about Darwinism.
So….
After all that I was kind of having a hard time berating the Transformers dude for messing up Card’s vision.
First, let me say I am not using this space to argue for or against any of these views. A nerd blog is not the best forum to discuss political issues of any kind. I merely wish to examine the effect it had on me to find out an author I enjoyed possessed such drastically contrary political views to my own. To be honest, my first reaction was to literally ball up my notes and throw them in my trash can in a refusal to praise the book of a man I disagreed with. But after a little time had passed, and I couldn’t think up any other blog ideas for the week, I went looking for my balled-up notes. Thankfully I have absolutely no hand eye coordination and instead of tossing it into the trash, the crumpled paper had merely plopped onto my night stand.
I suppose that if I looked up the political and religious views of all my favorite authors or filmmakers, I might be unpleasantly surprised by what I found. Not every artist is a nice old man who sits in his New England cottage and spins tales of whimsy for the pleasure of mankind. Even his majesty, Stephen King, used to be addicted to cocaine. Does that make me a drug addict for loving his books? If you read my last post, you’d know the answer is most certainly a negative. And it doesn’t change the fact that I really did love “Ender’s Game” when I read it. The whole experience leaves me wondering, where do we draw the line of standing up for our beliefs? I would never give money to a politician whose platforms I opposed. If you replace politician with entertainer, should that change my answer? It’s certainly something to think about.
Now, I set out to do a blog post on why this was such a travesty. I planned to discuss how “Ender’s Game” possesses what I considered “serious themes.” It’s a story about genius children enlisted to participate in war games. Spoiler alert, at the end of the novel the title character, Ender, realizes that after winning the final “game,” he’s actually devastated a whole race and vows to aid the remaining foes in starting anew on a different planet. “Transformers” and “Wolverine” are campy action films with cheesy one liners, where the difference between good and evil is as obvious as the morals in a Berenstain Bear book. This book had substance and required filmmakers who would recognize that!
Oh, with what outrage I intended to slam these films! How my intellectual superiority would be displayed in the way I analyzed the grand philosophies of “Ender’s Game,” suggesting for such filmmakers to adapt it would be the equivalent of Michael Bay adapting the works of Plato into an action film. I’d follow up with some snarky jokes about what other book-to-film massacres might take place next. How about a version of “Fahrenheit 451” starring Taylor Lautner as the sexy book-burning fireman with Kes$ha composing the original score.
And then, since it was his vision that was spurring me on to such vehemence, I began to do a little research on Orson Scott Card. I always like to throw in a few tidbits to flesh out my posts and show how good I am at typing names into google. The usual basic factoids popped up, but a little further down the page, I saw a heading that read something like “I’ll never read Orson Scott Card again!” Curious. I scrounged deeper and found that Card has quite the controversial political history. One article discussed how he opposes gay marriage. Another mentioned his views on global warming, mostly how he believes that research disproving it is being suppressed. Not to mention his feelings about Darwinism.
So….
After all that I was kind of having a hard time berating the Transformers dude for messing up Card’s vision.
First, let me say I am not using this space to argue for or against any of these views. A nerd blog is not the best forum to discuss political issues of any kind. I merely wish to examine the effect it had on me to find out an author I enjoyed possessed such drastically contrary political views to my own. To be honest, my first reaction was to literally ball up my notes and throw them in my trash can in a refusal to praise the book of a man I disagreed with. But after a little time had passed, and I couldn’t think up any other blog ideas for the week, I went looking for my balled-up notes. Thankfully I have absolutely no hand eye coordination and instead of tossing it into the trash, the crumpled paper had merely plopped onto my night stand.
I suppose that if I looked up the political and religious views of all my favorite authors or filmmakers, I might be unpleasantly surprised by what I found. Not every artist is a nice old man who sits in his New England cottage and spins tales of whimsy for the pleasure of mankind. Even his majesty, Stephen King, used to be addicted to cocaine. Does that make me a drug addict for loving his books? If you read my last post, you’d know the answer is most certainly a negative. And it doesn’t change the fact that I really did love “Ender’s Game” when I read it. The whole experience leaves me wondering, where do we draw the line of standing up for our beliefs? I would never give money to a politician whose platforms I opposed. If you replace politician with entertainer, should that change my answer? It’s certainly something to think about.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Say No To Drugs, Yes To Minotaur Junk
Danny McBride and James Franco’s latest film, “Your Highness” has been described by critics as “a bad fantasy film with swearing and dick jokes.” (Obsessed With Film) Other critics have stated, “Unless I'm being tortured, I'll never see Your Highness again.” (HollywoodChicago.com) And in one final crushing blow, “The result is a seemingly endless comedic black hole that feels like a cross between one of Mel Brooks' lesser vehicles and what one might get from a bunch of frat boys with a video camera, and after-hours access to the local Medieval Times.” ( eFilmCritic.com)
Well, I say that’s just ridiculous. For starters, frat boys are lame, and Medieval Times is way cool. This conclusion has nothing to do with the fact that I spend too much time at renaissance fairs. Personally, I prefer to think the general populous needs to stop seeking the wisdom of Plato in movies where James Franco gets molested by a tiny, purple, wizard muppet.
Yes, “Your Highness” is supposed to be a comedy, and if you don’t think it’s funny then that’s certainly a problem. For you. I, however, found it hysterical, and you can lob as many rotten cyber-cabbages at my Internet noggin as you like, but it still won’t change my opinion. “Your Highness” cracked me up.
In numerous reviews, the film was referred to as a stoner comedy. I guess I’m not really so sure what that term means anymore. Unlike McBride and Franco’s other collaboration “Pineapple Express,” smoking pot was not a crucial plotline in this film. Sure, the previously mentioned pervert wizard has McBride and Franco smoke a bowl to “share in his visions,” but one marijuana smoking puppet does not a stoner movie make.
So do these critics mean low brow humor, then? If you look on rotten tomatoes, the word crude is repeated over and over again in the reviews. There certainly were multiple jokes at the expense of male genitalia. Fornicating was a frequent topic, not to mention the plethora of half naked ladies literally frolicking through the woods and the glimpse of Natalie Portman diving bare-assed into a river. I guess my trashy Hollywood lifestyle has desensitized me to this bawdy behavior because I just don’t see how a dismembered minotaur penis crosses the line from disgustingly hilarious into a “shrieking example of Hollywood wastefulness at its most obvious.” Frankly, I don’t even know what that means. I must have missed the lecture on decoding critic babble in film school.
It’s all too easy to dismiss a film as being too “crude” but I’m going to go out on a crazy limb and say that despite the innuendos and suggested homosexual bestiality, this story has real heart and substance. It’s about a guy who’s jealous of his beefy, hotpants older brother, and is struggling to prove himself equally worthy. This theme is almost as common in fantasy literature as the whole “chosen one” storyline, which tells me that these guys weren’t just sitting around, cracking penis jokes when they first came up with the idea. Or maybe they were. When I meet Danny McBride, I’ll have to ask him.
I know fantasy is an acquired taste, but what I can’t wrap my head around is that if this is just a crude, stupid, stoner comedy, than why did I enjoy it so much? I’m no prude, but let’s just say I don’t enjoy Adam Sandler movies with the same gusto as I did in my elementary school days. And I certainly don’t smoke pot. Seriously, earlier in the blog post I had to google “smoke a bowl” to make sure I’d used the phrase correctly. Yet, when I first saw the trailer for this film I thought, “Golly gee! A renaissance comedy! I wish I had written something like this!” At no point did I think, stupid frat boy movie. So have all these critics misjudged and mislabeled the film? Or am I simply oblivious to my own cinematic tastes?
Like with most situations in my life, I shall avoid a potential identity crisis by choosing to blame someone else. This movie is funny, and everyone else is wrong.
Well, I say that’s just ridiculous. For starters, frat boys are lame, and Medieval Times is way cool. This conclusion has nothing to do with the fact that I spend too much time at renaissance fairs. Personally, I prefer to think the general populous needs to stop seeking the wisdom of Plato in movies where James Franco gets molested by a tiny, purple, wizard muppet.
Yes, “Your Highness” is supposed to be a comedy, and if you don’t think it’s funny then that’s certainly a problem. For you. I, however, found it hysterical, and you can lob as many rotten cyber-cabbages at my Internet noggin as you like, but it still won’t change my opinion. “Your Highness” cracked me up.
In numerous reviews, the film was referred to as a stoner comedy. I guess I’m not really so sure what that term means anymore. Unlike McBride and Franco’s other collaboration “Pineapple Express,” smoking pot was not a crucial plotline in this film. Sure, the previously mentioned pervert wizard has McBride and Franco smoke a bowl to “share in his visions,” but one marijuana smoking puppet does not a stoner movie make.
So do these critics mean low brow humor, then? If you look on rotten tomatoes, the word crude is repeated over and over again in the reviews. There certainly were multiple jokes at the expense of male genitalia. Fornicating was a frequent topic, not to mention the plethora of half naked ladies literally frolicking through the woods and the glimpse of Natalie Portman diving bare-assed into a river. I guess my trashy Hollywood lifestyle has desensitized me to this bawdy behavior because I just don’t see how a dismembered minotaur penis crosses the line from disgustingly hilarious into a “shrieking example of Hollywood wastefulness at its most obvious.” Frankly, I don’t even know what that means. I must have missed the lecture on decoding critic babble in film school.
It’s all too easy to dismiss a film as being too “crude” but I’m going to go out on a crazy limb and say that despite the innuendos and suggested homosexual bestiality, this story has real heart and substance. It’s about a guy who’s jealous of his beefy, hotpants older brother, and is struggling to prove himself equally worthy. This theme is almost as common in fantasy literature as the whole “chosen one” storyline, which tells me that these guys weren’t just sitting around, cracking penis jokes when they first came up with the idea. Or maybe they were. When I meet Danny McBride, I’ll have to ask him.
I know fantasy is an acquired taste, but what I can’t wrap my head around is that if this is just a crude, stupid, stoner comedy, than why did I enjoy it so much? I’m no prude, but let’s just say I don’t enjoy Adam Sandler movies with the same gusto as I did in my elementary school days. And I certainly don’t smoke pot. Seriously, earlier in the blog post I had to google “smoke a bowl” to make sure I’d used the phrase correctly. Yet, when I first saw the trailer for this film I thought, “Golly gee! A renaissance comedy! I wish I had written something like this!” At no point did I think, stupid frat boy movie. So have all these critics misjudged and mislabeled the film? Or am I simply oblivious to my own cinematic tastes?
Like with most situations in my life, I shall avoid a potential identity crisis by choosing to blame someone else. This movie is funny, and everyone else is wrong.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
No, Really, I'm A Girl. Now Buy Me This Mace
Perhaps it was jealousy that initially kept me away from Felicia Day’s webseries “The Guild.” I am clearly threatened by her nerd beauty and the fact that in her career so far she has gotten to kiss both Nathan Fillion and Wil Wheaton.
Premiering online back in 2007, “The Guild” is now in production on its fifth season. The show boasts a following of bazillions of fans, which coincidently happens to be the EXACT amount of people who play World of Warcraft, an MMORPG very similar to the computer game played in “The Guild.” Oh, and if you don’t know what an MMORPG is by now, please email me your address, so I can drive by and throw a miniature Han Solo frozen in carbonite collectible figurine at your head.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I am a former WoW addict. There were times when I literally ignored people hanging out at my house to sit alone in my room and shoot pixilated fireballs at gnolls and dire bats. All the more reason why a story about a young woman obsessed with such a computer game should have been love at first sight for me. Yes, I was intrigued, but I was also a little hesitant. Was “The Guild” laughing with us gamers, or at us?
Then two things happened which forever cemented my fate. The first was that Felicia Day appeared at the local Barnes and Noble signing copies of a graphic novel for “The Guild.” I flipped through it, and enjoyed what I saw, but still wasn’t sold yet. And then, there was Wheaton. In my recent resurgence of teen stalking, I discovered that Wil Wheaton was featured on later episodes of “The Guild,” as a kilt-wearing leader of a rival guild named Fawkes. As in the same name as Dumbledore’s pet phoenix. This, I had to see.
Forgive me Madam Felicia Day for ever doubting your comedic wonderment. Once I sat down and watched it all, I wanted more, not just because the show was hysterical, which it was, but also because it reminded me of a game I loved and missed. I’d also like to take a moment to say I appreciated that while the characters were all a little bit odd, they were not (for the most part) losers. No one weighs four hundred pounds and works in a comic book store. Clara has a husband and family, Tinkerballa is a smoking hot evil Asian chick, and though the youngest guild member, Bladezz, lives in his parents’ basement, it’s only because he’s still in high school. You find out in later episodes this long-haired, perverted teen has a secret modeling career that the others mock him for. Personally, I love any world where someone is mocked for being a model. Even Vork, the middle-aged weirdo who eats expired food and lives in a shed, does so by choice.
I think I loved these characters because I was one of them. At the end of season four, “Big Bang Theory” star Simon Helberg has a cameo as a game master busting Vork for screwing with the game’s economic structure by creating a stock exchange. When the game master compliments Codex on her busty, short skirt wearing avatar, she makes a big point of saying she’s a girl in real life to woo him into getting a new guild hall. Oh, what girl gamer hasn‘t been there before! My guy friends used to hate how I could walk into the auction house in Ironforge and giggle at some dudes and say something stupid to prove how girl-like I was (I got a tailor to make me a customized pink shirt to help in this process.) and suddenly I’d be fifty gold richer. Yes, perhaps this was a form of pimping myself for fake money, but I make no apologies.
The question remains, did I enjoy this show only because I played World of Warcraft? I don’t think so. In fact, “The Guild” is as much about friendship and discovering one’s way in the world as it is about gaming. And you don’t have to be a nerd to have a sense of humor. It might help, but you don’t have to be.
Premiering online back in 2007, “The Guild” is now in production on its fifth season. The show boasts a following of bazillions of fans, which coincidently happens to be the EXACT amount of people who play World of Warcraft, an MMORPG very similar to the computer game played in “The Guild.” Oh, and if you don’t know what an MMORPG is by now, please email me your address, so I can drive by and throw a miniature Han Solo frozen in carbonite collectible figurine at your head.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I am a former WoW addict. There were times when I literally ignored people hanging out at my house to sit alone in my room and shoot pixilated fireballs at gnolls and dire bats. All the more reason why a story about a young woman obsessed with such a computer game should have been love at first sight for me. Yes, I was intrigued, but I was also a little hesitant. Was “The Guild” laughing with us gamers, or at us?
Then two things happened which forever cemented my fate. The first was that Felicia Day appeared at the local Barnes and Noble signing copies of a graphic novel for “The Guild.” I flipped through it, and enjoyed what I saw, but still wasn’t sold yet. And then, there was Wheaton. In my recent resurgence of teen stalking, I discovered that Wil Wheaton was featured on later episodes of “The Guild,” as a kilt-wearing leader of a rival guild named Fawkes. As in the same name as Dumbledore’s pet phoenix. This, I had to see.
Forgive me Madam Felicia Day for ever doubting your comedic wonderment. Once I sat down and watched it all, I wanted more, not just because the show was hysterical, which it was, but also because it reminded me of a game I loved and missed. I’d also like to take a moment to say I appreciated that while the characters were all a little bit odd, they were not (for the most part) losers. No one weighs four hundred pounds and works in a comic book store. Clara has a husband and family, Tinkerballa is a smoking hot evil Asian chick, and though the youngest guild member, Bladezz, lives in his parents’ basement, it’s only because he’s still in high school. You find out in later episodes this long-haired, perverted teen has a secret modeling career that the others mock him for. Personally, I love any world where someone is mocked for being a model. Even Vork, the middle-aged weirdo who eats expired food and lives in a shed, does so by choice.
I think I loved these characters because I was one of them. At the end of season four, “Big Bang Theory” star Simon Helberg has a cameo as a game master busting Vork for screwing with the game’s economic structure by creating a stock exchange. When the game master compliments Codex on her busty, short skirt wearing avatar, she makes a big point of saying she’s a girl in real life to woo him into getting a new guild hall. Oh, what girl gamer hasn‘t been there before! My guy friends used to hate how I could walk into the auction house in Ironforge and giggle at some dudes and say something stupid to prove how girl-like I was (I got a tailor to make me a customized pink shirt to help in this process.) and suddenly I’d be fifty gold richer. Yes, perhaps this was a form of pimping myself for fake money, but I make no apologies.
The question remains, did I enjoy this show only because I played World of Warcraft? I don’t think so. In fact, “The Guild” is as much about friendship and discovering one’s way in the world as it is about gaming. And you don’t have to be a nerd to have a sense of humor. It might help, but you don’t have to be.
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