I Expect Perfection From My Props Department

There are people who enjoy the movies, who might refer to themselves as “movie buffs,” if you will. These people know a lot of trivia, enjoy discussing their favorite directors, and like to discuss with their friends afterwards what a movie “meant.”

I am not one of those people. If you work in the television or film industry, you may understand what I’m about to say a little better than everyone else. After years of going to see at least a movie a week in theatres, watching even more on netflix or DVD, not to mention the endless scripts I’ve read during class, internships, and in my own free time, I have nearly lost my ability to suspend my disbelief. For the layman, I refer to the act of letting oneself be completely absorbed into the story and can laugh, cry, gasp, and cheer with the characters as the journey on the screen progresses.

Flashback to:

Int. The Grove Movie Theatre - A week ago (Night)

Steinho sat alone in the dim movie theatre, irritated by the fact that the new assigned seating policy forced her to sit next to a couple on a date when there were five million empty seats available.

The film was “Super 8,” and on a purely superficial level, I enjoyed the film. No. The train wreck in the beginning was incredible and intense, and the teen actors were quite good. They were weird looking and funny and behaved more like normal teens than in any other movie I’ve seen lately. Do I think it was a classic? No.

Without going into an intelligent, analytical film review, I’ll get straight to the point. Towards the end of the film (SPOILER ALERT) the young hero, Joe, played by unknown actor Joel Courtney, watches with his roguishly handsome cop father, played by Kyle Chandler, as an alien being finally escapes the grim clutches of the government.

Wait, wasn’t there already a film with that plot line produced by Stephen Spielberg? Anyone? Anyone?

So anyway, they’re watching E.T., I mean the alien, prepare his ship for blastoff. This process apparently requires sucking up all the metal left lying around the street. Cars, skateboards, appliances, and Joe’s dead mother’s locket. Just as it’s about to be ripped away from him by magnetic forces, Joe snatches the locket in mid air, and it opens, revealing a photo of him and his dead mother. Joe and his father embrace, and at last, they’re both able to let her go, symbolized by Joe physically releasing the locket into the air.

What a touching moment! Except for the fact that the picture was upside down.

Wait, what? What nonsense are you talking Steinho?

Yeah, so when the locket flew out of his hand, he caught it with the charm pointing up into the sky, upside down. Yet when the locket opened, the picture was perfectly oriented for Joe and his pop to have their touching moment. So either Joe’s mom walked around wearing an upside down picture in her locket, or this was a conscious decision to fuel the emotional moment, which I totally get. We go to the movies for escape, not to face the harsh laws of reality and gravity.

The locket bit was so far into the film, and so minute, it certainly didn’t keep me from enjoying my cinematic evening. There were other things that accomplished that, like the overall anticlimactic ending. But I bring this up, because it was remarkable how quickly my brain picked up on it. I wonder, am I forever unable to watch anything without thinking of the number of scripts the production assistant had to copy? Or if there was a meeting between the director and the head of props concerning which way should the picture face in the locket? Have I become a freak of nature…or has my mind and powers of observation simply been honed to a razor sharp edge? Or, does this merely mean I have too much time and need to go watch some “Futurama” reruns?

All of the above.