You say Manolo, I say liver eater, Let's call the whole thing off

Star date: Blog bloggy blog blog blog!

I was all ready to post about the Sex and the City movie, wondering why so many ladies were up in fury over this second installment in the cash cow known as Carrie Bradshaw a.k.a. Ferris Bueller‘s wife. Personally, I rather enjoyed the movie. It made me laugh more than a few times, and though I’m no clothes horse, or even a clothes pony for that matter, I still like looking at all the weird, flashy outfits they force onto these four unsuspecting females in exchange for large sums of money.

So what’s the hoopla all about? Another case of movie expectations gone awry? (See my review of Robin Hood.) In my case, after reading the towering inferno of dreadful reviews, my expectations couldn’t have been much lower without replacing the lead actresses with the cast of one of those teen pseudo reality shows that take place in Southern California. I left entertained and in high spirits, and wondering if Chris Noth’s patent on playing the role of wealthy, quasi-sleazy but still handsome and charming men had made its way through the U.S. Copyright office yet.

Only later did it strike me what might have so many fans upset, besides the fact that Johnny Corporate Moneybags was just looking to squeeze a few more pennies out of the franchise. Not being the girliest of girlies, and lacking that magical device of the ages known as Cable Television, I jumped on the Sex and the City bandwagon a smidge later than some. While I enjoyed all that I saw, and later caught up on all those episodes I missed one sleepless summer night in undergrad, I would be a whore-faced liar if I said the show changed my life.

But you know what show did change my life? What got me through my awkward teenage years, what gave me the basis for manly perfection by which I judge all other men, the show that I nearly threatened to break up with my first college boyfriend over because he wanted to chat on the phone during the series finale?

I’m talking about The X-Files.

No, seriously. It was a really good show. A show about sea monsters, and aliens with tons of sardonic humor, not to mention the most beautiful man who ever lived. Sorry, SATC fans, but Chris Noth is a bridge troll compared to David Duchovny. Okay, to young David Duchovny.

My point in this random nerd tangent, is that at the end of the day, it’s much easier for me to brush off a bad Sex and the City movie, because it didn’t mean that much to me. I didn’t know these characters like some did. In 2000, when David Duchovny left the show due to contract disputes with show creator Chris Carter and Fox Studios, I was genuinely irate. Why don’t you just throw acid on the Mona Lisa, Hollywood, because that’s what they did in my opinion. And replacing Fox Mulder with some old dude that played the villain in Terminator 2/Johnny Cash’s dad in Walk The Line? Are you kidding me? David Duchovny was carved from Grecian marble. Grecian marble covered in puppies and sunshine. I imagine that fans of Sex and the City are disappointed for the same reasons I was when they meddled with my precious, precious show. The producers/filmmakers/tiny men in top hats holding sacks of money with dollar signs chose to keep the show going, long after fans had already made their peace with its end. Think of it like digging up a corpse after the funeral.

Still, I stand by my opinion. It was a fun movie! Come on, they rode camels!!! Honest to goodness camels! What’s not to like?

As a final parting gift, I offer a bit of salve for those suffering from the SATC 2 blues. Not having read this particular book, I can’t vouch for its possible awesome or lameness, but its existence at the least, should offer a bit of hope.

It’s called “The Carrie Diaries,” and is written by the lady who started it all, Candace Bushnell. Instead of her current life in NYC, it focuses on her senior year in high school and while it still may be a stretch from the world fans know and love, (and minus a bit of the sex. It’s pegged as a young adult novel) reviews say it possesses all the same drama, spark and personality.

Even if it doesn’t, all things considered, it can’t be much worse than the movie.