Nothing Funnier Than the Apocalypse

Dear Sir Chauncey Bloggerford,

Maybe it’s because I’m an egomaniac who thinks the world revolves around me, but I find the comedic novel to be a neglected media. Everyone yammers on about the latest funny film in theaters, and each and every season, studios scramble to shove out another fresh lineup of half hour comedic programming on television. Yet, where is all the ballyhoo for quality comedic literature? When did we get the notion that books have to be boring lumps of dramatic prose where somebody gets a disease or solves a crime or learns to love their father/mother/long lost dead uncle Larry while solving a crime?

Personally, I blame Oprah. As far as I know, I’ve never read an Oprah book club selection. Now, I know some will say, Steinho, but what if you really liked the subject, or were planning to read it anyway, before Oprah suggested it? What then? Would you give up the chance to read something really great simply to spite Oprah?

The answer is yes. I was born a contrarian and I’ll be a contrarian until Gandalf comes to take me into the West with Frodo.

I just hate the idea that a book can’t be both smart and funny, or rather, that a book can’t be funny at all. Right now I’m thinking to all the fiction sections in the book store. There are romance novels, mysteries, horror stories, Westerns, even sections for the fiction pertaining to specific ethnicities. No comedy. Books apparently, are just not supposed to be funny. Absolute rubbish.

Let's let Oprah off the hook. She's a millionaire and has secret powers. I don't want to wake up with a decapitated Shakespeare bust in my bed. Let's put the blame where it really belongs.

HIGH SCHOOL! This unfortunate phenomenon also stems back to how in high school, we’re all forced to read a myriad of books, some interesting, some boring enough to induce instant comas. (I’m looking at you, Faulkner.) Over time, an association forms between boredom and the written word. This is why I make a big deal of pointing out how bawdy and hilarious certain Medieval writers are. Take Chaucer, for example. Sure, the Canterbury Tales are in Middle English. If you get past that, though, you will find some of the most clever, not to mention, most salacious and hilarious stories you’ll find. The literary world is absolutely overwrought with both the naughty and the silly, but no one wants to take the time to seek it out. Because you’re lazy, world! Lazy like a chubby kid sitting a foot away from the television because he can’t find the remote.

So let me do the work for you. See, I like my books like I like my men. Smart, funny, and possibly holding the key to a magical new world. I’m always on the look out for a book (or a man) who can make me laugh. Unfortunately, funny books are about as hard to find as funny men. Plenty that are funny looking, but not just funny. To spare you the agonizing search, here are a few suggestions for those who might want to take a break from the latest Jody Picoult or Nicholas Sparks and read something not involving a loved one dying of something terrible.

“Gil’s All Fright Diner” by A. Lee Martinez: An evil demon wants to open a portal to hell beneath a local Diner. Unfortunately for that demon, she’s trapped in the body of a small, Asian cheerleader with a curfew. This book also contains the original Werewolf vs. vampire rivalry, only without all the nauseating teen romance. Not only is this vampire not attractive, but he’s also going bald.

“Fluke” by Christopher Moore: A marine biologist thinks he’s going crazy when he spots a whale with ‘You Suck’ painted on its tail. Is the aquatic world turning against him, or has he simply spent too much time out in the sun? Like with Martinez, Moore is all about characters, as wacky as he can get them. Extra props to Moore for showing whales as the jerks they truly are. I gave my allowance money to save your butt, whale. Where’s my thank you card?

“Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett: A devil and an angel pair up to ward off the coming Apocalypse, simply because they’ve both got pretty sweet situations on Earth and don’t want to mess it up. I’m not sure which author is primarily responsible for the wealth of hilarity in this novel, but I’ve enjoyed both of their solo work, so I’ll just say it’s a tie.