Spoiler Alert! The Shark Eats People!

Dear Blogomatopoeia,

Now that the summer is over and there is no chance of me swimming in the ocean anytime soon, I decided to read the book, “Jaws” by Peter Benchley.

How many people actually know that “Jaws” is based off of a book? Well it is, movie goers! Your precious 1975, first ‘blockbuster’ movie ever, was based off a book! With paper and pages and nothing visual about it! Okay, that’s a lie. Within the first few pages, Benchley describes a woman getting attacked by the shark in such a graphically visual way, I almost threw up in the middle of Chipotle. I really, really need to stop reading horror novels at meal times.

In the great tapestry that is my writing education, I have heard over and over again that crusty adage of “hooking the reader” in the first few pages. Well, Mr. Benchley had me by page two, when he described the horror the first victim felt at reaching down to feel her wounded foot. Only, there was no foot left. The foot was gone. The shark, or “the fish” as Benchley refers to it throughout the entire text, had eaten it. There was something both creepy and ironic at this decision to demean the shark down to simply a fish, as if it was someone’s overfed pet, or something on a menu right between the chicken dishes and the pasta. You know, if all fish were like Jaws, I doubt we’d be worrying about people killing them for food. Let that be a lesson to you sharks! It’s you or us! Somebody’s eating somebody tonight and I don’t taste very good covered in lemon butter sauce!

No, no. I would never eat a shark. I think they’re misunderstood and misrepresented and I like animals and we should take care of our planet so please don’t get mad at me environmentalists!

Moving on. I’m not going to get into an analytical discussion comparing book and movie. That’s not what Steinho does. Steinho is all about gut reactions, and right now my gut is telling me to finish this blog post and get myself over to the Thai restaurant before my stomach’s volatile acids start devouring organs for nourishment. Just like Jaws did! See how I brought that back full circle?

There were so many elements that surprised me when reading the book. How about the fact that in the book, Hooper has an affair with Ellen Brody. Or how about how Brody himself is not an outsider. See, that’s why Ellen has the affair. She took a huge social plunge marrying dear, local man Martin Brody, and so when rich, sassy, shark-obsessed Matt Hooper comes along, she yearns for playing tennis and fancy dinner parties. Fortunately, Hooper dies in his little shark cage. Overall, it’s safe to say none of the characters are as lovable in the book. They’re all kind of jerks. Even our dear hero, Brody, comes off as a passive, whiney, fool who allows himself to get pushed around by the local government. Did I mention the mafia is also involved? Yes, that’s the real reason they can’t close the beaches. They mayor owes the mafia money. I can’t believe my drunken screenplay idea of Mafia vs. Shark was already stolen by Peter Benchley seven years before I was born. How dare he!?!

Going back to my gut, what I personally felt the book was lacking was a whole lot of shark eating people. The shark ate a total of five people in the book, and you only got to see three of them happen. In fact, there is a whole middle section of the book that the shark is not in at all. This is the part where Ellen throws a dinner party, has an affair, and various townspeople complain to Brody. Also, several newspaper people act obnoxious and Brody does a lot of lamenting. There’s a secret selectman meeting and some mysterious mafia dude breaks the neck of Brody’s cat. But no shark. Just a whole lot of talking about it.

Am I saying that in this one case, the adaptation is better than the original? The movie better than the book? Please! Everyone knows books are always better and anyone who disagrees is a ninny! However, I might be tempted to say that Spielberg, screenwriter Carl Gottlieb and Benchley made some excellent decisions in adapting the book into a film. In books, people can talk all they want. They can do nothing but talk and stare at each other, and if the writer is skilled enough, you’ll be on the edge of your seat. In the movies, you need a little something extra. Like Quint spitting up blood as he slides into the shark’s gullet. I love that part!

There is a reason “Jaws” was such a hit in 1975 and continues to be so thirty-five years later. That reason is crappy 1970s animatronics. If the shark hadn’t malfunctioned, Spielberg would have kept it in the film more, and it would have ended up looking a hot, cheesy mess. All those thrilling scenes where you know the shark is lurking nearby, but you can‘t tell where, would now have a giant robot fish in the middle of it. Have you ever been to the ride at Universal Studios? If you have, then you know how not frightening that thing looks. And if you haven’t been to Universal Studios, just picture the little kids from the “It’s a Small World” ride and try to pretend you’re afraid of them. Okay, that actually might be scarier.

Now that I think about it, Peter Benchley knew exactly what he was doing. It was excruciating reading through that middle section, not knowing when they were going to go out into the water again, not knowing when the next person was going to get killed. All while the characters were slowly gabbing on at each other and being miserable, you could never forget that in just a few pages, somebody was going to dive into the water and come out a limbless pulp.

Besides, only a man who knew about real horror would write a sex scene for a character played by Richard Dreyfuss.