Steampunk! Now with 40% More Robot Monarchs!

On the off chance you one day find yourself trapped inside a steampunk novel, it is always best to be prepared for what lies ahead. It might help to know exactly what the deuce steampunk is.

Surely you know what steampunk is! Surely! These days you can’t throw a rock without hitting a nerd wearing goggles and yammering on about his pocket watch that turns into a laser gun, because he simply must get back to his airship before Queen Victoria‘s robot army comes after him.. I think it’s safe to say that steampunk has thoroughly infiltrated all aspects of life. Not just the world of books, and movies and entertainment, but life. People decorate their homes with steampunk interior design. Couples get married with steampunk wedding cakes. If you haven’t heard of steampunk, you better have just gotten out of a time machine from the year 1812, which would sort of make you steampunk yourself, and therefore I forgive you.

For all of you who may or may not come from a time when it was perfectly acceptable for women to wear giant birdcages under their skirts, let me catch you up to speed on the wondrous miracle that is the steampunk subgenre. Put in simplest terms, it is science fiction set in Victorian times where steam is the main source of machine power, hence the name.

Pardon me, while I geek out for a moment. Some cite the 1980s as the birth of steampunk, the red headed stepchild of science fiction. I’d argue, however, that its roots run far deeper. Likely they were unaware of it at the time, but such delightful gentleman such as H.G. Wells and every science fiction nerd’s best friend, Jules Verne, gave the world their first dose of Victorian sci-fi. To be fair, these men weren’t setting their stories in this time period out of nostalgia, but simply because that was the era in which they lived and wrote, which makes them extremely farsighted and original, and me extremely jealous. Credit must also be given to one K.W. Jeter, the author who first officially coined the term steampunk to describe his own work. Whether or not you’ve ever heard of him, it can’t be denied that Jeter gave name to a phenomenon that has since exploded all over pop culture like a zombie brain when jabbed with an old fashioned steampunk laser cane.

What also cannot be denied is how I would sell black market orphan organs if it meant a magical portal to a steampunk dimension would open up and suck me in. In case you’re with me when that happens, here are a few tips to recognizing the brave new world you’ve tumbled in to. Is there a man having amorous relations with a robot lady? Are there airships? Not planes, but honest to goodness dirigibles, usually piloted by sky pirates. Is the heroine wearing a bustle but also shooting some sort of futuristic weaponry, possibly powered by steam or robotics or both? Is Queen Victoria present, and has her life been extended even longer by some infernal contraption involving a plethora of cogs and gears and futuristic science? I swear to you, in every steampunk novel, Queen Victoria is now 100 years old and part cyborg. Nothing hit’s the genre home quite like the most proper British woman ever to live being turned into the Terminator.

To illustrate my point, let’s consider a few of my favorite steampunk novels.

“The Affinity Bridge” by George Mann. Think Mulder and Scully in the 1890s. On their first case together, they investigate an airship crash, full of zombie plague victims, driven by mechanical pilots with human brains.

“The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters” by Gordon Dahlquist. Celeste Temple, a plucky but well-mannered British lass chases after some mad scientists who brainwashed her fiancée into dumping her using a curious blue ore from Eastern Europe. She karate chops her way to the truth, ever striving to maintain a sense of respectability. More than once, Celeste escapes danger on an airship.

“The Edge Chronicles” by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell. Mistakenly classified as young adult novels in my opinion, these books make Harry Potter’s adventures look about as dangerous as a Nancy Drew mystery. Set in a floating college, young academics study the weather while sky pirates hunt for a supernatural substance that keeps their city aloft. Airships, airships, airships.

There are a veritable surplus of fantasy and sci-fi subgenres. Cyberpunk. Alternative histories. Space operas. Why has steam punk stuck in a way others haven’t? I’d answer that it’s the perfect genre for the nerd who doesn’t like to make choices. Consider the popularity of “Star Wars,” which is itself a genre blend. Jedi 'knights' fight with swords, only instead of boring metal blades, they're made of lasers. There are queens and courtly politics, sage old wizards and diabolical sorcerers. What is Luke Skywalker but an Arthurian space man, come to face off in a battle of father versus son? Listen, I took a Comparative literature class in college. Trust me, it’s all in there. With subgenres, we get to have our “Lord of the Rings” set in a galaxy far, far away. With steampunk, you get to wear a top hat and monocle and live on the moon. Two words. Robot butlers.